It’s tricky. And we believe there’s only one. ours.
What are you looking for in that person who drives you nuts every day?What are you expecting when you get home at night from your partner?
What pre-conceived ideas are you bringing into a meeting versus being open-minded and ready to listen and learn?
When we operate from the place that we already know we will be disappointed, or that our mate is selfish or that this is just another boring meeting with the boss, we get to be right, more often than not.
How do we change our perspective?
Walk around and look at the issue, person, relationship or challenge from all sides. Invite others to share what they see (if it involves them or you value their viewpoint) or literally put on different lenses.
Just like wearing sunglasses can sometimes alter the color of an object, or wearing reading glasses can help some of us see the letters more clearly, looking at an issue from the other side or with a lens of curiosity gives us a wider range of options and potential solutions.
We often have disagreements with people (especially online these days, it seems) for seeing political or social issues from different viewpoints. What if both sides are valid and the Truth is neither or both?
And, when we bring our negative views forward or grudges from past experiences to the table, it’s not fair for anyone. Not the person we are judging, not the potential outcome for all involved, not for ourself. It’s limiting and another place to expand our awareness.
Where do you place your lens of perception? With whom do you look for the best? What about yourSelf? Do you give yourSelf the benefit of a doubt or automatically say, “You are so stupid/klutzy/silly/ugly/fat _______(insert your word here).” “There’s no way you’ll get this done in time.” “You’re always late.”
“You are amazing!” “You look beautiful today!” “ I believe in you, and we’re just learning this new exercise/process/technology/way of operating.” “Great progress – you’re becoming more aware every day.” “Let’s change the time we leave so we can feel better and arrive on time.”
It’s all in how we look at things. It’s all in the self-talk. It’s also, all in how we look at others and our relationships. I’m looking.for more good in mine today, how about you?