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Continuing with the theme of FEAR this week, I’m curious…
When are you most afraid – Sharing vulnerably yourself? Or being with someone else who is sharing vulnerably?
Let’s define Vulnerability:
noun: vulnerability; plural noun: vulnerabilities
1.the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
It’s been a difficult or trying week for me.
Monday was the anniversary of my wedding.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of signing the divorce papers.
Tomorrow night is the Farewell Party for my ex and his wife as they prepare to move out of the county, to a destination where our daughters will spend considerable time.
I told a former lover I couldn’t speak to him now as I am still processing our relationship ending.
And, I got the news that my application was not accepted to a co-working collaborative.
So, I’ve been sitting with all of the heaviness. The spiritual by-passing (the feeling that I SHOULD be) feeling grateful for what all HAS transpired and lessons learned. And, the emotions of grief, hurt, upset and more have washed over me. Yes, Grief has cycles and I’ve been riding them!
The difference this week is that I’ve reached out. Talked and cried and shared and asked for support. Given myself extreme self-care.
Why is that so difficult for us as powerful, independent, brilliant women?
For me? It’s a “not wanting to bother anyone” or “I don’t want to be a burden” or “who wants to talk to a whiner, a soppy mess of a friend?”
Yet, when I asked for support to attend the party? All 3 women responded “Yes! Of course!”
When I cried a bit when my trainer asked me how I was doing on the metabolic challenge cleanse this week, she was lovely and understanding why I was not following the diet to a “T”.
When my business coach asked what I thought I could do this week, and I answered honestly, she was compassionate yet firm, my plan was do-able.
When my daughter asked me how I was, I was honest. Not angry. Just sad. Not talking bad about anyone. Accepting that they are who they are and we are not in alignment anymore.
I even can feel the excitement of what might be coming next for me through the pain and loss of this time. I had another ding this morning.
And, felt into and B E Y O N D the pain and saw the echoing of old stories and patterns – now releasing. Now bowing to what is emerging. And, making way, stepping aside.
It’s such a different feeling. The gratitude for the pain. The awareness of being in the present with all that IS and all that is on its way.
The most difficult part? Has been the weirdness of sharing with others. The fear of showing up less than, broken, messy and VULNERABLE. I don’t like asking for help. As much as I coach others on Receiving…it’s not that easy for me to Allow in the support and love I SO crave. Need. Want.
So, on this All Saints Day/All Souls Day/Post Samhain/Halloween day, sandwiched between two very significant dates for me, I have called in the Magic of connection. Community, support, sharing, giving, receiving. Receiving even when I don’t ask for it. Even without reciprocation expected.
And, gratitude shows up. Appreciation. And FEAR becomes fear…and disappears.
Ahhh…this feels so much better!
What are YOU Afraid of?
What is your deepest fear?
In honor of Halloween and Dia de los Muertos next week, let’s talk about fear.
Funny how lots of people like scary movies. We can laugh at the ridiculousness of the plots and know that it’s not real.
Yet, when scary stuff comes up for us, we literally cringe. Hide. Run away or freeze.
For most of us, Fear runs our life. We are so afraid of what we don’t want to happen, we are literally closing off what we do want.
It’s where we let old stories, and often younger versions of ourselves, take the driver’s seat. Where we step aside, literally, giving our power away.
I run. I hide. And, I freeze.
I veg watching Netflix. Drinking wine. Or through sex.
I get super busy. Or, stop doing anything at all in a state of depression-like coma.
All in resistance to what wants to be expressed or experienced or let in.
What am I SO afraid of? Who am I so afraid of Be-Coming?
And when I recognize it, how do I use that energy to fuel my momentum versus let it suck me back into the same-old, stuffy, suffocating space of who I used to be.
Let’s move into the next iteration of Courageous Authenticity. Where we don’t run from our Fear, or Hide from it, or even manage it. We welcome it, transform the energy of it and utilize it.
Nothing in life is wasted. All forms of energy are valuable.
What is holding you back? Where are you stopping your SHINE from radiating from you? Who do you want to show up as and how does she want to BE in the world?
Chances are, it’s exactly what you need and want that calls you forward. It’s more powerful than Fear.
Ready? I’m here with you…remember it’s a journey.
© 2017 Deborah LeeAnn ~ Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
It’s rare and takes courage. It’s collective and co-creative and collaborative.
We are all learning to be more of our self, our highest and best versions of ourSelf. And, to do so we need to do our inner work.
Monthly, we are guided by the phases of the moon to do the deeper work of releasing and listening to see what is coming through us, what wants to become “real” from our visions, dreams, and goals.
The new moon is a darker night, feels more magical and mysterious. These nights bring forth the fertile soil to plant new seeds, ideas, initiatives, or patterns of behavior.
I like to take the time to write out, speak or share with another, what I’m releasing and what I’m bringing forth.
The beauty of burning this (whether a stick, a log or the piece of paper you wrote out your thoughts on) allows you to see the visual of the concept changing form.
Other ways besides a fire ceremony are to literally give away old items, clear time on the calendar, or clean up your finances, all of which provide new space for what you are bringing forth. Making the space for what is coming into our lives both energetically and physically.
What are you bringing forth? Who are you calling into your life? What types of support or community do you want or need?
What new moon rituals do you practice?
The recording begins with a cry from my cat, Salem. He’s a constant reminder for me of grounding and being fully present. Enjoy!
For more ideas (or for a community to practice with) connect with me, I’ve got guided meditations and curriculum to share each month from Unify Global Sisterhood and The TreeSisters.
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
It’s harvest time for many but not for me. Autumn is my “spring cleaning” time.
Letting Go to Live More Fully is one of my mantras and I’m typically singing it as I welcome this time of year.
I’m finding myself tossing old items, giving away piles of clothing and linens, cleaning out toiletries, (how does that drawer get so cluttered?) and generally, cleaning house.
Culling from my freezer and pantry too. Getting off of mailing and email lists. Aligning my bank accounts. And, reviewing/assessing/releasing relationships. This one is the hardest.
This brings me to my topic for today. When we consciously make the decision to walk away from a person who has been a big part of our life, it’s a big deal. So is standing up and asking for things to change. And, additionally, being willing, AND READY, to leave if they don’t.
So, here is that time of year. Mastermind circles ending. My first Authentic Leadership Academy coming to a close, the realization that the romantic relationship I’m in is no longer where I’m flourishing and happy.
With all of this “letting go” comes a sense of clarity. Freedom. More space to BE. And, the fear of being “alone” is also present.
Many of my friends, clients and colleagues are coupled. If you are one, you may not understand what I’m going through, It’s been one hell of a decade since my divorce, and I thought I was done healing.
Maybe we are never done. Just like we are never complete.
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
Stepping into a Higher Version
Last week I attended The Leadership Circle™ Summit. It was way more than a training opportunity. Or a vacation. Or a conference with like-minded hearts, minds and souls.
Last week was my own Axial experience.
“Axial” in that it was a pivotal moment when I could see all of who I have been coming together for this particular group of people, with that specific location, and those unique speakers and leaders. I knew it was going to be life-changing…just wish I knew how much was going to shift for me and those around me.
We had speakers from NASA to Harvard, experts from Google and MIT, Tai Chi Masters and international journalists and beekeepers who all shared their authentic selves and messages.
I was literally in heaven!
Beautiful conscious deep conversations…moments of transformative learning … tears and laughter of intimate sharing.
So many memories!
Lots of new people that I was initially feeling disconnected or separate from have now become new friends, colleagues, connections, and potential partners.
Then the re-entry. A term many of us at the Summit used to describe our returning to our Real Life. It’s been a rough one, personally, professionally and on a spiritual level too.
At this time of continued heartbreak, chaos, low confidence or trust in our nation’s leadership and the mixed messages from our media, it’s time for us to find this Summit within. And, from that strength of inner knowing, groundedness in our Truth and Wisdom, share and act from Compassion and Love in our circles, families, and communities.
I felt my own wings and heart expand and grow last week…not just my mind.
There was a deep knowing that I am perfectly perched, ready to take off and soar with my message.
It’s time to take a stand. Rooted in our physical self and connected to our divine self. Guided by our Passion/Purpose and Pleasure.
My new mantra for the next 100 days is:
I am a powerful creatrix who easily receives outrageous prosperity creating beauty and excellence all around me, simply by being my authentic embodied self.
What is yours?
©️ 2017 DeborahLeeAnn.com
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
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Deborah offered some terrific exercises that really helped me to define where I wanted to be in the short-term and longer-term. She offered practical and usable advice and tactics for dealing with immediate challenges. Deborah even engaged in a team assessment with my staff that helped us to understand each other’s strengths and how to more effectively work as a team.
I reflect often on the work Deborah and I completed together and continue to find value in that work. With Deborah’s help, I was able to develop the confidence to take some bold steps that resulted in a really amazing professional change for me. I consider her my coach for life and would not hesitate to engage her again as I continue to grow in my new role and set new goals and aspirations.Kris
Deborah has an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter and ask the questions that will bring clarity and direction to a situation quickly. She is insightful, organized and most of all passionate about what she does. That combined with the on-the-ground experience she’s gained from two decades in non-profit and corporate HR make her an invaluable part of any organizational team.Sarah
Deborah has a contagious passion for making a positive difference in the community. She has productive energy and a talent for working with people. She can motivate, inspire, guide, and develop others. Deborah has a keen sense for cultural alignment within an organization and can champion change initatives. Her depth of knowledge is a treasured asset that can be put to use in many different ways including but not limited to: training, coaching, planning, structuring, mentoring, and positioning.Mindy