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It’s been coming. And I’ve been fighting it.
First the stoic, “I can handle it.”
Then, affirmations of “I can do this!” “You are stronger than the obstacles!” “Keep moving!”
Until finally, letting go. Letting God. Letting it all out. The Grief. Anguish. Acceptance of Failure. Acknowledgement of Where. I. Am.
Lost enough to see that I’ve been ignoring the signs. I KNOW these signs. My body’s signals, my soul’s song, my heart’s cries. And, I’ve only been listening to the louder Ego. My mind’s Critical voice drowned out the others. And I didn’t stop to listen for them either. I believed the loud noise. Or turned it off by distractions, Netflix, cooking, cleaning, caring for others.
Well, last night, exhausted, I gave in. Surrendered literally, spiritually, emotionally. I’ll tell you about it, (not in all the gory details, but enough so you get the picture) and also how the prayers were answered with miracles of music, inspiration and a lighter state of Being showed up for me this morning.
All is well. Truly, when I allow it to be, All is well.
We women can be our own worst enemies.
What is it about women competing with each other? (even when we know better?)
Do you ever feel diminished by another’s success? Or feel a contraction when you see someone else doing the same thing (or a bit similar even or especially superior) to your business or program offering?
For so long, we have been pitted against each other, for beauty, yes, but even for brains, for roles in organizations or plays, for being the best ______________. (you fill in the blank, is it Mother? CFO? Community Organizer? Philanthropist? Athlete? Scholar?)
This is probably why concepts of CrossFit where you only compete with yourself while receiving support in a community is so popular. It’s becoming very common to see collaborations between different consultants and coaches and trainers as they can offer a blend of their work to appeal to a wider audience (or the same audience on a deeper level).
We all get more when we combine our talents and gifts with another to create synergy. And celebrate each other’s talents and gifts.
Yet, with all the work and knowledge I have on collaborating versus competition, why do I still feel that cringe or punch in the gut when someone else is doing what I do, offering a workshop or program that sounds like mine or publishing the book I’ve got in my head?
It’s all good. There’s a way to calm yourself (and mySelf) down and laught at it all.
It’s the topic for today. Tune in and give it a listen. If it speaks to you, I’d love to hear your feedback. If someone comes to mind that might like to hear it, please share.
Thanks for doing what you do. There really is only one of you…own that and trust it.
Drop my Shield?
It’s taken all my life to build it and perfect it and refine it to fit me perfectly.
Protection, as an unconscious behavior, is unfortunately, a necessary one at times.
We women don’t feel safe. Most of the time. When we do, our truest, most Authentic Self comes out to play.
You know, those weekend mornings after a great night of sleep (and maybe more!) creates the space for us to “let down our hair?” Free from masks, protective barriers, constriction of busy schedules and a prerequisite role to fulfill?
I love those mornings…dancing, singing to myself, making and enjoying a leisurely breakfast and cup of tea/coffee…piddling around, cleaning up, digging in the garden. And, the most amazing stuff comes through then.
What if we create our most brilliant messaging, our most unique offering to the world, our most inspirational writing from this place?
This morning, while at an event for fellow entrepreneurs and experts, the messages were true, hit home, were delivered with heart and I got to “see” the person in a new light. The stuff between our ears, the inner dialogue dominated by a loud Inner Critic, drowns out our Authentic Self. We hear more often the voice telling us to “Be careful,” “Don’t say that! They’ll think you’re weird”, or “don’t know your stuff, or _________” (fill in the blank for yourself.)
What if, our most real, Authentic Self got a chance to speak? Can we even Hear Her?
Let’s play in the space where our Authentic Self speaks today. Yes, I know, it’s not the weekend, but we can pretend, right?
I’ve been hiding. Even with being online, recording a podcast, and doing live interviews with exceptional women leaders.
And, it used to serve me but not so much anymore.
You see, Hiding is not only being a wallflower (or a lurker) or making safe statements so your voice gets lost in the “noise,” it’s not taking any risks. It’s not showing up. Not being Real, Not telling the truth…my truth.
Why do we strive so hard to fit in? To not “rock the boat” or to be afraid to speak what’s really going on?
Remember the children’s tale of The Emperor’s New Clothes? In it, the Emperor was tricked into believing he was wearing clothes made of an invisible cloth only able to be seen by those who were smart and fit for their position.
How often do we see the truth of something or know the answer to a problem or have a great idea to share, yet hold back…fearing speaking up and speaking out?
It’s time, my lovely listeners. We are needed to speak up. Be Seen, Heard, Valued. But only from our Authentic, Grace-filled Truth.
We love Beauty.
We are inundated by media’s definition of Beauty.
We turn to what’s familiar and cultur’s idea of Beauty …versus seeking out the bizarre, different, odd, or strange.
We are trained early to see beauty, especially in women, as being small, young, sweet, sexy and similar. Similar? Yes, to what we know, what we are comfortable with. What we’ve grown up seeing or being told is beautiful. Each culture has its own Beauty standards. So, finding something (or being someone) other that what we were trained to believe is “beautiful”, makes us feel different from our family, friends, society…Think about all the “beautiful people” on the covers of magazines, on Facebook or Instagram feeds, or TV.
So, how can we feel Beautiful? Truly in love with our looks as well as our Shining Hearts & Souls? AND, be Unique. Standing out in our Brilliance?
Authentic Beauty is standing in our Fullness, our Wholeness, in our Powerful Body, while unapologetically sharing our intellectual and intuitive creative selves with the world. It’s knowing, deep down, that we are Enough. Perfectly imperfect and gorgeous, just by BE-ing Real. It’s caring so much for our inner and outer self that our Radiance glows…we are vibrant, magnetic, attractive and fully Sovereign. We don’t need anyone else or anything else to make us Whole.
Let’s dive in. This is a big one for many of us Women. And, an important part of becoming an Authentic Leader, A Woman of Presence, A Woman of Substance.
How do you feel about your appearance? Connect with me for two quick tips to Become more magnetic immediately, so you can lead with Authenticity, Grace & Power!
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Deborah offered some terrific exercises that really helped me to define where I wanted to be in the short-term and longer-term. She offered practical and usable advice and tactics for dealing with immediate challenges. Deborah even engaged in a team assessment with my staff that helped us to understand each other’s strengths and how to more effectively work as a team.
I reflect often on the work Deborah and I completed together and continue to find value in that work. With Deborah’s help, I was able to develop the confidence to take some bold steps that resulted in a really amazing professional change for me. I consider her my coach for life and would not hesitate to engage her again as I continue to grow in my new role and set new goals and aspirations.Kris
Deborah has an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter and ask the questions that will bring clarity and direction to a situation quickly. She is insightful, organized and most of all passionate about what she does. That combined with the on-the-ground experience she’s gained from two decades in non-profit and corporate HR make her an invaluable part of any organizational team.Sarah
Deborah has a contagious passion for making a positive difference in the community. She has productive energy and a talent for working with people. She can motivate, inspire, guide, and develop others. Deborah has a keen sense for cultural alignment within an organization and can champion change initatives. Her depth of knowledge is a treasured asset that can be put to use in many different ways including but not limited to: training, coaching, planning, structuring, mentoring, and positioning.Mindy