Conscious Creator or Reactive Victim

When seeing how I was allowing myself to get W A Y off-track today, I noticed that my thoughts were on a downward spiral.

And, after such a good morning!

Meditating, quiet time contemplating how to create my day, a great session with my shaman/business coach, some delicious coffee, and some creating of new connections for new business through a referral service..then BAM!

What I learned was that each of these “referrals” was costing me. Not even if they were qualified or for a $10,000 project, but even for single or short term $500 coaching package.

Ahhh, so this is the cost of being “in flow?”

Or, is it my resistance to being open to really having it come to me with grace and ease?

And, then the inner critic. The “I told you so!” The “you knew there would be a cost associated, didn’t you?” And on and on. Down the slippery slope of shame, doubt, confusion, until I hit victim. This is where I walk around, looking for something to eat, activities to distract, and ways to numb.

I really dislike feeling yucky like that anymore. And I am beginning to become aware of it earlier and earlier.

So, what to do now?

Focus.

Inward and downward. Remembering this is all temporary, and a result of where I WAS, not where I’m going.

Clarity emerges. Bit by bit. With each breath. I am in Creative space. Bye-bye Reactive Self. I’m back in the driver’s seat. And, from here, the words flow.

Momentum is like being in a canoe floating down stream. It’s easy. It feels good. The scenery changes and I get to see what is around me.

So unlike fighting against the current. Where all my attention is on pushing and striving.

Back in Flow. Back to Creating my Life.

More will be shared in the podcast, I’m sure. Listen in?

Share with me, where do you get stuck? What are your practices for turning yourSelf around?

Push/Pull

The Growing Pains of Showing Up Authentically

We are halfway through 2017. Yikes! (says a part of me)

When reflecting on the first 6 months of this year, I had lots to celebrate. Lots of lessons learned too. And, it pushed me into a growth cycle of wanting to be farther along than my “results” are showing.

So, I got into a fast-paced mode. And, all the Up-leveling is taking its toll.

It’s part of growth and expansion, what we are all experiencing whether we like it or not.

Not only have I began a new iteration of my work – SHINE – I’ve begun a bed & breakfast business. And committed to speaking more. And expanding my consulting services. And publishing a new website.

All in the past month. Whew!

It’s not anything new for most of us entrepreneurs who are constantly evolving and expanding.

Yet, too much too quickly brings about tell-tale results for me.

Scattered-ness. Lack of preparation for a meeting with a potential collaborator. Stubbing my toe on a coffee table (OUCH) and then a mini-crisis with family. Needing to rearrange my day to fit in some extra TLC for my stepdad who is caring for my mother with Alzheimer’s. A technology mess of backup drive not working and a new malware showing up!

And that’s how my expansion tends to show up for me. A fast and furious growth spurt that ends up with physical, emotional and mental anguish.

And, thank you for the lesson again, the opportunity to recognize that slowing down is being called for. Less DOing, more BEing.

That was last week’s show but bears repeating. Slowing down allows us to grow faster.

And, just like my daughter when she was having a growth spurt, rubbing the sore shins or taking a bath or going to bed earlier are all ways to get to the next level.

SHINING and showing up takes more than courage and confidence. It takes compassion. The full recognition that we are human beings who will make mistakes, have accidents and want to re-do stuff. It takes letting go of perfection. AND, the kindness and compassion to allow for the process to unfold. For our SHINING Self to unfold. For our Vision, Value and Voice to ripple out more clearly and consciously than ever before. And to keep growing and shifting and evolving, just as we do.

We are a beautiful work in progress. Art being (re)created each and every day.

How are you showing up?

SHINING – A State of Being NOT Doing

This SHINE project I’m playing with is a constant state of evolving, metamorphosing, growing, changing, checking in. Lots of words that describe the intensity of the process depending on the day, the moment.

We SHINE when we are in our Essence. Owning our Beauty and Brilliance.

We dim when we pretend or hide or act from fear. When we are desperate for others to see us, like us, want us, hire us, love us.

This “dimming” takes its toll. Just like from abuse or neglect (chronic and repeated experiences of being injured physically, emotionally, or psychologically) our Essence will shut down.

How to get back to the brightness and brilliance of you?

Takes courage. Might be risky. Always is the  e x h a l e  of relief and pleasure on the other side.

And…, feeling a level of sovereignty and freedom in letting go of the mask, letting our uniqueness out, trusting our guidance and speaking from our authentic truth.

Sound good?

Listen in and let’s see if some of these practices can support you in SHINING and BE-ing your most magnificent and amazing Self.

As always, I’d love to hear from you. How do you dim your light? What helps you to SHINE with authenticity, grace, and power?

PS: I forgot to tell you my shortcut to getting present, after following the physical cues and breathing. It’s so simple. Yet very effective! It’s “BE here, NOW!”

Occupy Self

Remember Occupy Wall Street?

How protesters camped out to make sure their message was received? They physically and literally stood their ground asking to be heard.

Same with the folks who gathered for weeks at Standing Rock, protesting and blocking the progress of the pipeline across their lands. Even amidst the bitter cold and water blasts from law enforcement, they stayed put…chanting, praying, and in nonviolent protest.

What do you stand for?

Who do you stand for?

Typically, most of us have a cause or our children/family that will activate our inner protester.

What is yours?

When the Occupy movement was happening, I started looking at where I was spending my money. And, who these companies supported politically. I learned that many of my monthly bills were heading to coffers that were backing legislation that wasn’t aligned with my values.

That meant my money was going towards creating a world that was not in alignment to what I knew I wanted. So, I protested, in my own way. I left one communications company and found another that was a nonprofit, donating profits monthly toward causes I believed in. I shopped at stores that had a scorecard towards my values politically, environmentally, energetically. I did stay with my financial institution due to the relationships and history there but got out of another messy financial relationship.

All in all, I felt cleaner, more in alignment and happier.

It came up again the other day as I was planning for some upcoming workshops and retreats. It’s important to me that all of the activities that have my name on them be in alignment with my values, my vision, my voice.

Tune in today to learn more about how you can Occupy yourSelf and use your power to create change.

Be the Change…It’s time to put your time, energy, money and power where your heart is.

Dancing with the old and familiar Doubt and Confusion Sisters

Doubt. That 2nd-guessing. Wondering how it could have played out differently. Reviewing the memory over and over and wishing it were different. And, the loud voice that keeps us from taking that next step forward, asking the big question, sharing what’s real.

And/or Confusion. She’s tricky this one. She loves to keep us in “we need more info” mode, or “I’m not sure what to do next” place or “I just wish I had clarity on what is the right decision for me now” space. Been there. A lot.

And, when paired together? They activate each other. Like Synergy, but gone awry. It can get ugly.

Both of these shadow selves are present for me this week. (and are pretty familiar each time I reach an edge, a growth phase or a new chapter of my life.) They can look different, but just like someone who changes their hair color, I can recognize them. The sneaky part is that they like to appear quietly, silently hijacking my momentum, shifting gears into low (or Park) until I notice that I’m not going anywhere! I’m stalled. And then it’s a bit late.

So, this week, my amazing business coach and I were talking about them. (I’ve actually named them Debbie Doubter and Connie Confusion) and my desire to fire them, release them, remove them or heal them. The suggestion I received was to “promote” them. What????

Promoting them to come from their Gift side, their flip persona of Inquiry and Illumination felt RIGHT. Perfect. And timely. Allowing them to still be valuable and necessary parts of me and to shine from their Gifts allows me to move into bringing them forward in my life in all ways, always.

The brilliant outcome of this promotion ceremony is the more cohesive way of recognizing when they are showing up. To bring forth their gifts in each interaction and then shine from within their highest spiritual teachings of Truth and Illumination! And how these already show up as guiding values and principles for me in my life and work? Divine guidance indeed!

So let’s dive in. These are real show-stoppers and I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get on with the Show!

Authentic Pause :: Slowing Down to Recharge

How do you recharge? In the 6 days since leaving home, there have been lots of activities, ranging from large noisy family dinners and brunches to my daughter’s graduation from college in Indiana, to partying at houses and bars to flying to Florida, visiting and staying with an amazing group of women friends in a palatial home.

We’ve stayed up late, eating cake and ice cream (to celebrate Merinda’s graduation, of course!) or just drinking wine and getting caught up. Last night, conversations got heavier, deeper, intimate. It was midnight before we knew it!

Swimming, lounging, and sunsets at the beach, combined with my shamanic business mastermind added to my day yesterday and reminded me that I’m neither totally on vacation or totally “at work.”

Yet, this feels right. Just enough of the creative and learning and growing I receive when working as well as the eating, drinking, slowness of vacation activities and time away.

Without realizing it I’m achieving my intention this week. I want to recharge. Reconnect. Remember who I am at a deeper level. Being with old friends and my daughter help me to see myself, learn about myself in a way it’s not easy to do alone.

And healing the old patterns of disconnection, aloneness, not belonging, not being lovable or loved. The old stories in our psyche, emotional space, and physical bodies are literally melting away. The “I’m broken.” “I don’t belong.” “I’m such a weirdo…”

When we are with a sisterhood, that special circle of family and friends who see us deeply, with compassion and love and little to no judgment (we are human after all!) it’s a safe space to BE. Heal. Fall into Wholeness.

And this is where we regain, recharge and remember our power. The universal power that is always present and flows through us, connecting us to all that is and the potential of all that could be. When here, I find it easiest to tap into my vision, receiving wisdom and intuition and then use this passion/life force energy to create. Moving forward in my bigger vision and life’s work.

So, that is where we’ll start today. Not sure with all the swirling around of new learnings and experiences and downloads recently received, where we’ll go!

Feel free to share with me what this full moon energy is shifting, growing, releasing and bringing to you! You are the reason I create these. Thank you for the honor to do so!