It’s become so common that no one is surprised anymore. We all just nod our heads in some type of secret solidarity.
Yet, why are we sharing from a place of shame? Or Guilt? Or Embarrassment? Or, even, with a sense of thinking we are responsible, in some awful way?
It’s time to stop the avoiding and clean up the shame, and start healing.
This open door will never swing shut again. More and more sexual assaults, inappropriate behavior, rapes kept under wraps are now seeing the light of day. The media posts new stories daily and we aren’t even bothering to read them. (Or, maybe that’s me, this is not new!)
What if we took this new-found solidarity, commonality across all women of different cultures, colors and class, and used it to fuel our Light?
What would happen if we were sharing with glee something beautiful that happened from sharing and healing to becoming more empowered, conscious and ready to tell our truth?
I’d love to discover what could happen when we realized that this totally inappropriate treatment we’ve all received was just a catalyst for igniting our realization of our value, our worth, our strength?
As we glue together the pieces where we previously thought we were broken, we heal the parts and are even more beautiful, more complex and more resilient.
The term Wabi-Sabi applies here…the Japanese believe in the beauty of impermanence and imperfection. When a piece of art or pottery is broken, they often fill the cracks with gold. Creating a more beautiful piece and honoring the imperfection.
Let’s shift into this type of #MEtoo. Let’s shift into the beauty of what we are now from the healing, growing and expansion into a more stunning piece of art? What if we shined our light through those cracks?
© 2017 Deborah LeeAnn www.DeborahLeeAnn.com
Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting
Continuing with the theme of FEAR this week, I’m curious…
When are you most afraid – Sharing vulnerably yourself? Or being with someone else who is sharing vulnerably?
Let’s define Vulnerability:
noun: vulnerability; plural noun: vulnerabilities
1.the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
It’s been a difficult or trying week for me.
Monday was the anniversary of my wedding.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of signing the divorce papers.
Tomorrow night is the Farewell Party for my ex and his wife as they prepare to move out of the county, to a destination where our daughters will spend considerable time.
I told a former lover I couldn’t speak to him now as I am still processing our relationship ending.
And, I got the news that my application was not accepted to a co-working collaborative.
So, I’ve been sitting with all of the heaviness. The spiritual by-passing (the feeling that I SHOULD be) feeling grateful for what all HAS transpired and lessons learned. And, the emotions of grief, hurt, upset and more have washed over me. Yes, Grief has cycles and I’ve been riding them!
The difference this week is that I’ve reached out. Talked and cried and shared and asked for support. Given myself extreme self-care.
Why is that so difficult for us as powerful, independent, brilliant women?
For me? It’s a “not wanting to bother anyone” or “I don’t want to be a burden” or “who wants to talk to a whiner, a soppy mess of a friend?”
Yet, when I asked for support to attend the party? All 3 women responded “Yes! Of course!”
When I cried a bit when my trainer asked me how I was doing on the metabolic challenge cleanse this week, she was lovely and understanding why I was not following the diet to a “T”.
When my business coach asked what I thought I could do this week, and I answered honestly, she was compassionate yet firm, my plan was do-able.
When my daughter asked me how I was, I was honest. Not angry. Just sad. Not talking bad about anyone. Accepting that they are who they are and we are not in alignment anymore.
I even can feel the excitement of what might be coming next for me through the pain and loss of this time. I had another ding this morning.
And, felt into and B E Y O N D the pain and saw the echoing of old stories and patterns – now releasing. Now bowing to what is emerging. And, making way, stepping aside.
It’s such a different feeling. The gratitude for the pain. The awareness of being in the present with all that IS and all that is on its way.
The most difficult part? Has been the weirdness of sharing with others. The fear of showing up less than, broken, messy and VULNERABLE. I don’t like asking for help. As much as I coach others on Receiving…it’s not that easy for me to Allow in the support and love I SO crave. Need. Want.
So, on this All Saints Day/All Souls Day/Post Samhain/Halloween day, sandwiched between two very significant dates for me, I have called in the Magic of connection. Community, support, sharing, giving, receiving. Receiving even when I don’t ask for it. Even without reciprocation expected.
And, gratitude shows up. Appreciation. And FEAR becomes fear…and disappears.
Ahhh…this feels so much better!
What are YOU Afraid of?
What is your deepest fear?
In honor of Halloween and Dia de los Muertos next week, let’s talk about fear.
Funny how lots of people like scary movies. We can laugh at the ridiculousness of the plots and know that it’s not real.
Yet, when scary stuff comes up for us, we literally cringe. Hide. Run away or freeze.
For most of us, Fear runs our life. We are so afraid of what we don’t want to happen, we are literally closing off what we do want.
It’s where we let old stories, and often younger versions of ourselves, take the driver’s seat. Where we step aside, literally, giving our power away.
I run. I hide. And, I freeze.
I veg watching Netflix. Drinking wine. Or through sex.
I get super busy. Or, stop doing anything at all in a state of depression-like coma.
All in resistance to what wants to be expressed or experienced or let in.
What am I SO afraid of? Who am I so afraid of Be-Coming?
And when I recognize it, how do I use that energy to fuel my momentum versus let it suck me back into the same-old, stuffy, suffocating space of who I used to be.
Let’s move into the next iteration of Courageous Authenticity. Where we don’t run from our Fear, or Hide from it, or even manage it. We welcome it, transform the energy of it and utilize it.
Nothing in life is wasted. All forms of energy are valuable.
What is holding you back? Where are you stopping your SHINE from radiating from you? Who do you want to show up as and how does she want to BE in the world?
Chances are, it’s exactly what you need and want that calls you forward. It’s more powerful than Fear.
Ready? I’m here with you…remember it’s a journey.
© 2017 Deborah LeeAnn ~ Authentic Leadership Academy & Consulting